I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
