just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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