New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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