Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Are my feet made of real feet?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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