I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
