But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
