I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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