Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
