How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
