By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
