erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize