He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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