And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
