I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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