guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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