Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
