my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
