If i come over, it means nothing
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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