i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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