I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
