i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
