Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
