He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
it hurts more in the daytime
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
