At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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