we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
