Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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