He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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