i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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