I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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