I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
