We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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