double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize