He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
