Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
