The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
