No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
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