There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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