Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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