They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
