Nicole vs. Life
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
