i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
