The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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