where am i from again
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
