thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
