i think i have herpe
just one?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
