Did you just see the Batmobile???
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
