I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Congratulations! We have a period
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