Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
