My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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