K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
porn star boner night. come get it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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