I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
