he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
