i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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