Your tits are I can't wait for
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
