Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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