I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
