I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize
