3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
