It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
