so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
