No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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