I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
